Call the cops! The Grammar Police are patrolling but does grammar really matter?

The importance of grammar is often given as one of the main reasons why businesses

should hire the services of a professional copywriter. In actual fact, ‘grammar’ often just gets confused with straightforward spelling errors or typos.

You’ll see images of catastrophic mistakes from marketing campaigns past and present held up as irrefutable proof that grammar does indeed matter. Take the main image from this blog. It features an unfortunate typo, yes, but it’s not a grammar error at all.

In fact, it’s a fake anyway – having been digitally doctored to satisfy fans of playground humour the world over.

Mistakes matter but does grammar matter?

Mistakes happen, of course. The owner of a SME could argue that the occasional spelling or grammatical error is unlikely to cost them their business. That’s probably true - but mistakes in your marketing copy are hardly likely to do your business much good either.

What’s more, ‘sloppy copy’ makes a business come across as sloppy and careless too. Never a good look. Being seen as ‘carefree’ has positive connotations, but ‘careless'? Not so much.

So, mistakes matter, but does grammar matter too?

Well, there will always be the purists – the fully paid-up members of the Grammar Police – who will always say it does. But for the vast majority of the general public – and your audience – the answer is probably a shrug of the shoulders and a ‘Not really.’

Glaring grammar errors and content containing a consistent litany of mistakes are never going to do you any favours, of course. Copywriting cannot be a complete free-for-all.

Aren’t rules there to be broken?

I should mention that I was an English teacher for 18 years and have been a GCSE examiner for two decades. I reckon I’ve marked 25,000+ exam scripts in my time. Of all of those thousands of responses, I can count the ones I can really remember on one hand.

One English Language ‘Writing to Describe’ response began as follows:

“Are you taking the piss?”

It grabbed my attention. It stood out from the crowd. It was the best piece of writing I have ever read by a GCSE student.

It was controlled. It was crafted. It was two pages of genius.

The question had been: ‘Describe the room you are in.’

The candidate had taken exception to the banal nature of the task: ‘I’m in a sports hall. It’s an exam. There are lots of tables in rows. No one’s talking… FFS what do you expect me to say?’

The response was essentially a rant against the exam board for setting such a mind-crushingly dull question. It was a risky move, yes. I dare say it went against every single piece of advice the candidate had ever been given about what to do or not to do in an exam.

But it was superb. Rules are there to be broken sometimes!

The Les Dawson Effect

I remember telling that story to my then GCSE English class. It backfired spectacularly. They just misinterpreted it and saw it as carte blanche to use swear words in their work! Sadly, the notion of ‘control’ had gone completely over their heads.

Similarly, those of a certain age will remember comedian Les Dawson and his piano playing routine, littered with bum notes. Of course, Dawson was actually a highly gifted pianist. It was the fact that he could play so well that meant he knew which notes would sound particularly bad – and get the most laughs.

In the same way, it’s okay to bend the rules of grammar – but this is never done by mistake or accident – but by design.

One of the most famous slogans of all time, Apple’s ‘Think Different’, is grammatically incorrect – but don’t try and tell me that the ad agency who created it were grammar illiterates. They knew exactly what they were doing.

Tone of voice trumps all

In my humble opinion, getting the tone of voice and style of copy and content bang on is always the primary objective as a writer.

Writing a piece that is grammatically perfect and totally mistake-free is important but it’s just that: ‘grammatically perfect and totally mistake-free.’ That, on its own, doesn’t make content engaging, entertaining or persuasive.

Bend the rules. Want to start a sentence with ‘And’? Go for it.

Begin with ‘But’– you rebel – Why not?

Do what you want. Use a hyphen instead of a semi-colon… So what? 99% of the population wouldn’t know what to do with a semi-colon if it smacked them in the face.

But…

Just remember, the tone of voice always has to be spot on and you always need to be on your audience’s wavelength.

Pause for thought: The $10million Comma Caveat

Having said all of the above, it’s also worth remembering that a misplaced comma can end up being extremely expensive – as in $10 million expensive.

State law in Maine, USA, stipulates that employees must be paid overtime for hours worked above the 40-hour weekly threshold.

Oakhurst Dairy published a list of exemptions, including the likes of: ‘… marketing, storing, packing for shipment or distribution of perishable goods.’

The issue centred on a missing Oxford comma. Had one been included:

‘packing for shipment, or distribution of…’ it would have been clear that ‘packing’ and ‘distribution’ were two – separate - exempt functions.

However, without the Oxford comma separating the last two items in the list, it read as a single task – ‘packing’.

This slip meant that the dairy’s distribution drivers were able to sue the company for 4 years of unpaid overtime. A payout of £8.1million was shared between 75 drivers.

So, you can see that a single piece of (missed) punctuation can be very costly indeed!

What’s the moral of the story then? Well, here goes:

1. All copy needs to be mistake-free as a given. Sloppy copy gives a terrible impression of your business.

2. It’s okay to ‘bend the rules’ of grammar to achieve particular effects – but this is done by design not accident.

3. Tone of voice conquers all. Your copy needs to talk directly to your audience and be pitched perfectly for them.

If you can do 1, 2 & 3 yourself, go for it. If you’re not so sure, you should be thinking about hiring a professional copywriter.